Warn Your Grandparents (or Parents)

This story (may require a subscription) in the Wall Street Journal burned my hide. As if seniors don't have enough issues facing them, being tricked into estate planning with insurance companies shouldn't be high on their list of worries.



So here's the scam. A sweet little ol' lady gets a post card in the mail that says - "The government is going to take away your medicare" or "Get Free Estate Planning" or even "Your Estate Will be Wiped Out by Taxes".

"Some cards gush about sweepstakes prizes, and returns may be used by marketers in any number of industries. But state regulators say the most ubiquitous type of card is delivered to seniors on behalf of insurers. Often plastered with American flags, such cards may cite "changes in your Medicare benefits" or
mention "new legislation" passed by Congress that will "affect you and your heirs" -- along with references to research by federal agencies or AARP on how to handle such changes."

Sweet little ol' lady (SLOL) is concerned and fills out and returns the card for her 'free' information, thinking the card is sponsored by a government agency or AARP. Not so much. Said ol' lady then gets a phone call to set up a meeting with an 'estate planner' who then goes on to convince her to transfer her life savings into some mutual fund or insurance policy.

"During their meeting, she recalls, he "asked me what I had in stocks and bonds" and convinced her to move her $170,000 IRA, invested in mutual funds, to an American Investors deferred annuity. She says she only realized later that she was limited to withdrawing 10% a year. Any withdrawals beyond that sum were subject to a penalty as high as 17% in some cases, the state complaint says. "

Most of these policies have huge fees for premature withdrawal and tie up SLOL's funds when she needs them most. The story includes one gentleman who's money was restricted from him until he turned 90!

"Soon after they mailed the reply, a living-trust marketer, and then an insurance agent, showed up at the couple's Morganton, N.C., home, Mr. Williams said in an affidavit filed in state Superior Court in Raleigh. Mr. Williams, an 83-year-old retired factory worker, says the agent talked him into transferring much of the
couple's $179,000 nest egg into annuities that barred them from tapping the bulk of their money, unless they paid high penalties, until Mr. Williams was nearly 90. The commission on such products is typically 9.5%"

My full time job is in the financial world. I'm not a financial planner or anything but even I know that when you're retired - the whole point of your retirement funds is to live! Not to invest your money and then not be able to touch it. That's where I am in life, not where my grandfather is.



These slimey tactics are how companies are currently getting around the "Do Not Call" registries. Be sure to warn your grandparents and parents (well, you too I guess) to not fill out any kind of card that offers "free" assistance and definitely check into who is trying to sell you stuff. Nothing in life is free...my mama taught me that!

You're Never Really Ready

My grandma died today. Sometime after 3:30 p.m.

It's not like it wasn't expected. She's been "dying" for years now. A year and a half ago my mom pulled me out of bed and had me drive an hour to the hospital to say goodbye. She didn't die then. She's been kicked in the head by a horse. Had four kids before she was 24 and had to have a hysterectomy. She hunted. She fished. She baked.

She and grandpa worked together every day for their whole marriage - almost 60 years! She worked in their office when he ran the Petrolium business. And kept the books for their Christmas tree farm. She ordered all their findings and stones. She had great taste - I like to think she passed it on to me.

She loved to shop. She discovered the internet and that was very dangerous. She bought amazing things. It's not like they were rich but she always bought high quality.

I don't know what grandpa will do. She hasn't been home for over a year now so at least he's more used to being alone. But they were high school sweethearts. They married when she was 18 years old. It wasn't a perfect marriage - they fought and had their issues, but it was true love. Even when she had lost most of her teeth, just a few weeks ago when I visited, he kissed her square on the mouth and told her how much he loved her and how beautiful she was. He always embaressed me when he would say "isn't she sexy?" and laugh. He's been saying that since before I can even remember. She'd get all "mad" and swat at him for saying things like that in front of us grand kids. But he never stopped. I'd always say "ewwwwww...grandpa!"

I know I'm lucky. I got to know my grandma for 29 years. Heck, I got to know her mom, my great-grandma, for 18 years. But it still seems too short a time! I got so angry with her for being a hypochondriac - she could have lived for so much longer - but for her many hours in bed with "headaches." Mom finally told me that she thought grandma suffered from depression - which was never really diagnosed or treated way back when. There's so many reasons for her decline - her idiot doctor who prescribed any and all medications - even when they conflicted and made things worse.

At some point, even imaginary ailments become real when your body says "Fine...you want to be sick, I'll be sick." The muscles deteriorate. The heart starts to go. A stroke. Another stroke. A hip break. Finally unable to get out of bed even if she wanted to.

I knew it was coming eventually. She psyched us out so many times in the last three years - making us think it was her last moment. My mom e-mailed me at 2:30 saying that grandma wasn't doing well (at which point I just rolled my eyes - she's never doing well I thought). She had 104 temp and they thought it was pnemonia. Mom called around 3:00 to say that she was getting worse - she was gasping for breath and her legs were cold.

Mom was trying to get there to take grandpa to say goodbye. She didn't make it. A little before 4 p.m. she called to tell me. I was at work and even though I KNEW it was coming, I reacted by bursting into tears. WTH!

I did not even cry at the age of 8 when I found out my dad died. My grandma is the one who broke the news. Her and grandpa were my surrogate parents.

I have no idea if I'll go to work tomorrow. I keep bursting out in tears. But the work has to be done - my coworker is on vacation. And it's not like there's anything I can do right now. I'll be in charge of getting funeral invites and apparently grandpa wants me to help write the obituary. I don't really want to. It's too painful. They want a slideshow of some sort. I don't see how I can deal with looking through all the photos when she was vibrant and active.

I hate feeling this way. I feel weak and incapable of any coherent though. The next few weeks will not be pleasant. :(