How Many Times?

How many times do I have to say it? NO SPAM!

I do read my comments and will delete anything that is just a link to your website, even if you make your comment sound all friendly like. I can still tell that it's spam. Jeesh.

It's just rude. Like coming over to my house on the premise of bringing me something nice or just to say hi, and then trying to sell me something. Not cool.

I've started getting more and more spam...which I suppose can be considered a compliment right? I mean, my blog must be attracting some sort of attention. But clearly not the right kind.

Okay...that is all. /rant

No Spam Allowed

Having to delete comments that are spammy really sucks.

If you have something to share I welcome comments. If you just want to post your link and try to sell your product (whatever it is) you're getting deleted.

My blog. My rules.

I hate spam.

I Has Good Content

Can I rant again? It's not a very serious rant though, don't worry.

Having my own website is great. I love the freedom to post anything I want and make occasional sales.

What I HATE is seeing a message from my contact page coming through my e-mail with this boilerplate link request...

Dear Webmaster,

My name is XYZ and I have just gone through your site, and visited many
pages. I have noticed that you have good content on the site. It would be
better if we link to each other as reciprocal link place an important role
in a search engine ranking algorithm.

Good grief. I have gotten at least 50 of these in six months. Nearly identical text. I don't bother reading them any longer. I just hit the delete button. But the problem is that I do still have to open the message to see if it's an actual message from a customer.

If someone actually wants to link with me they better type up a specific request directly to me. Of course, I still might say no, but I'd at least respond instead of ignore them. Sometimes I even say yes and add their link! Though I admit it's been ages since I updated my links page.

Canned messages are so lame. :)

Hire Me or I'll Sue

Wow...just wow.

This story had my jaw dropping and eyes popping. Seriously?!?! SERIOUSLY!?!?

A South Carolina breast-cancer survivor has beaten the State Department and convinced judges in Washington that the inability to have sex is a disability protected under federal anti-discrimination laws.

Oh my freaking goodness. You have got to be kidding me. Not only is this ridiculous but it's frightening that she convinced the courts on her side.

In its 2-1 decision, issued Friday, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit ruled that Adams has a case against the State Department. Most significantly, the influential D.C. circuit court ruled for its first time that laws that protect people with disabilities from discrimination cover "sexual relations."

Right...so any guy who couldn't get it 'up' can sue their employers or former employers for discrimination. Yeah, that seems like the original intent of the law doesn't it? (insert sarcasm here)

It's things like this that make me feel like the country is going down the tubes. What is WRONG with this woman's brain? She thinks that it's okay to sue a potential employer because she can't have sex? Really? To me that speaks to her lack of common sense and I wouldn't want to hire her either.

Scary. Just scary.

What Do You Want? A Cookie?

I love bumper stickers. I have at least 5 (if I'm remembering correctly) on my car, which hubby absolutely hates. But even as a kid I loved them. I remember sitting in the car and reading them as we drove on trips or just running errands.

Some I love and think are hilarious even if I don't agree with their message. Like "Republicans for Voldemort" ... Get it? Republicans are EEEEVEEEEL. bwa ha ha ha ha The first time I saw that I was almost crying with laughter because I'm such a Harry Potter geek. Of course, those not familiar with the series won't get it, but that's part of it's charm.

There are a few bumper stickers that bug me though. Most of course are messages I don't agree with but it's the way they do it that I find annoying. Some I hate because so many people have them so I'm tired of seeing them.

The one that gets on my nerves most lately is "I Don't Shop at Walmart."

I want to talk to one of these people (but would never actually do that!) and ask them...So what? What's your point? You think you're better than me? Are you trying to brag that you have more money and can afford to shop elsewhere?

Oh, trust me. I get their message. Walmart is an evil corporation that does nothing but harm to the world. Yeah yeah yeah...heard it all and bought the t-shirt.

You know what I see when I go in to Wally World (which I don't particularly *love* doing but do occasionally)? I see people with jobs they might not be able to have otherwise. Some of the associates there are top notch and have chosen to work there and others probably have no choice because they're just lucky to have a job (like the guy who checked me out yesterday ... he didn't seem too bright).

I also see a lot of families. Families who can afford to buy a few extra goodies for their brats...I mean kids. :) I see little old ladies (and a few gents) strolling up the aisle with their small cart of items. I see savings! Especially if you use coupons on top of roll back prices.

My neighbor actually has one of those bumper stickers. They just bought a huge RV. Must be nice I guess. It's not like they're snobs, which is why the sticker bugs me even more for them. They're nice folks but that sticker screams elitist snob looking down on the "little people."

If you don't like Walmart, don't shop there. I don't have a bumper sticker that says "I Don't Shop at QFC."

Funniest thing I saw though...someone with that bumper sticker IN a Walmart parking lot. Ha!!!

What do my bumper stickers say? :) Wouldn't you like to know? I get mostly thumbs up from other motorists and a few funny looks. During the 2004 election season I got flipped off and screamed at by some nut. I don't take bumper stickers nearly that serious. The most I do is roll my eyes. :)

What is with Gas Prices?

Okay...I try really hard not to complain about the price of gas. Mainly because I don't think it's some grand conspiracy between the oil companies but mostly a market issue and perhaps a problem with speculators. But honestly I don't know. I'm no expert on the matter.

What I really don't get though is how Costco can charge $4.09 when all the other stations are up to $4.36 or higher. I get lectured by my oil change guys for using Costco (they say that the quality of Costco gas is bad) but it's just hard to justify paying more.

So they recommended going to Arco, part of BP, saying that their quality was better and it's the same price as Costco. Something about the mix of gasoline and additives - less water or something. I have no idea.

Why is that? Why is BP gasoline $0.27 a gallon cheaper than Exxon or Phillips Connoco?

Anyway, I got up really early this morning and ended up leaving the house 30 minutes earlier than normal. So I decided to swing by the bank ATM and then the Arco. And now I remember why I NEVER get gas at Arco. It is a royal pain in the arse.

First, they don't take credit cards. Seriously. No credit cards. I understand that credit costs more but it sure is a pain not to be able to use a card.

Second, you can use a debit card but you're charged $0.45. So it still makes it cheaper to use their gas (I'm saving $2.70 for 10 gallons so even with the charge I'm saving). The charge is to cover their expenses and reward folks who use cash. I get that. It sucks for me, but I get it.

Not only that, but their pumps are freaking old and hard to use.

How do you pay cash for gasoline? What if you want to fill up the tank but don't know exactly how much gas you need? Do you estimate high and give them $50 and hope that you get close? Then go back in and get your change? Seriously?

I'm so spoiled. To me that is all such a waste of time and I'm not used to so many steps being involved in my gas purchase. Go in and give cash, go back out and pump gas, go back in to get change. And what if the tank doesn't fill all the way? Do I have to go back in and pay more???

I won't be hitting the local Arco again anytime soon. Even though it'll cost me an extra $3, when it's time to fill up with the "good" gas I'll just stick with the local Texaco or Chevron.

Don't Be Annoying

I'm a member of MyPoints - you get a bunch of e-mails and when you 'read' them (by opening a link) you get points. Those points add up and you can earn all kinds of things like gift cards to Target, Macy's, and other great stores. Oh and you can shop through their website and earn even more points. I've earned several hundred dollars in rewards over the last few years.

It's usually not a problem. I click on a link and close it and get my points. Every once in awhile there's an interesting offer that I may linger awhile longer, but usually I have no interest.

And if I have no interest I just want to leave the site. Should be simple right?

One site this morning, instead of letting me leave by closing the page actually had a pop up "chat" screen inviting me to stick around. Even closing out the initial pop up didn't work because they gave (har) me one more chance to stick around and chat with someone.

Um...NO! Leave me the heck alone please. I don't want your stupid product and I want to leave NOW.

What is wrong with these people? If I wanted to stay on the site I wouldn't close the window. A popup is not going to convince me to stick around. "Oh gee, look I get another chance. Maybe I should stick around and see what's so good if it's worth a pop up." Jeez-a-lou. The fastest way to get me to hate your product is to force me to stay on your site. And music...I hate music that just starts playing. It's annoying.

I try very hard not to be annoying on my website. If you don't want to stick around you are free to leave. No music. No sparkly flashing words. Simplicity is the name of the game. I wish all sites were so considerate.

We Lost the Remote

I am a TV addict. I think I've mentioned that before.

But since it's (supposedly) summer there isn't much on. Thankfully I signed up for Netflix a few weeks ago, via EBates so I got a free month. Woohoo!

So the first CD for the first season of Criminal Minds came and I was psyched to watch it...the problem is that the DVD remote control is nowhere to be found. We searched everywhere. Under cushions, under the couch, under the coffee table, in the garbage...everywhere. The last time I had it was when I watched that horrible movie last week (something about a Dangerous Mind...I'm trying to block the whole thing out). So it hasn't been that long. I have NO idea where it went.

And did you know that when you're trying to select different episodes of a show on a DVD you must have the remote. We were able to push play (we had to get up and do it manually on the DVD player!!!) for the first episode but after that we were out of luck.

Luckily we are one of those families...we have TWO DVD players! Ha! So as we went to bed I watched another episode in bed.

Can you order spare remotes? What I'd really like is to program one giant remote...as it is, with the DVD remote, we have four remotes. One for the TV (which we only use to switch modes). One for the cable box. One for the DVD (MIA). And one for this huge box thingy that I'm not really sure of the function. I think it has something to do with the surround sound system. We practically have to have a masters degree to run our TV system. And I LOVE it!

But I want my DVD Remote back.

Sick and Sad

My week has not gone so well emotionally. And it hasn't gotten better yet. This morning has been tough. Not only did Trooper Bear wake me up an hour early (so I just stayed up) but I found out that someone who I *thought* was a friend, or at least a good acquaintance, has copied one of my designs. :(

I understand that there are really very few "original" designs out there and this particular design isn't stunningly original or creative but it was one that I hadn't seen anyone else doing so far. And the fact that someone I KNOW has decided it is okay to make and sell an EXACT same design makes me sick to my stomach.

I would never in a million years create and sell something that someone else made even if I didn't know the person. The fact that she KNOWS me makes me it even more painful - I wouldn't be nearly as upset if it were someone I didn't know any which way from Sunday.

And I'm not talking about a plain silver band ring...everyone makes those. Everyone makes hoop earrings and wire wrapped bird's nest rings. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about a design that was simple but different. And something I've been doing for over a year.

You just can never know someone truly online I guess. I'm just sick about it and haven't decided whether I'll e-mail her or not. :(

THEN my mother in law e-mails me about a Trooper in Federal Way who tried pulling someone over this morning and had a shot gun pointed in his face!!!!!! And the suspect hasn't been caught yet.

Seriously...I want to go throw up! =( This stuff is not what I need in order to recover from this funk. I hope hubby wakes up in a good mood today because I don't think we can handle having us both be in bad moods. I *was* feeling a little better this morning...not anymore.

Oh...and then on the same news site that has the Trooper story...there's a hideous story about a Marine throwing a puppy off a cliff in Iraq. OMG! Please tell me it was a sick joke?!? I KNOW that they aren't supposed to keep dogs over there, but the way they were joking about the "cute little puppy" and then toss it is just so sick and wrong I seriously feel dizzy with sick. I love our military and I support their mission ... things like this make those who hate the military paint all members as monsters. I hope, if this is a true event as it appears to be, that the Marine will be discharged - dishonorably.

I know that many dogs must be killed over there - it is more humane than letting them starve or suffer in the desert - but to joke and throw a puppy over a cliff (AND video tape it!) is sick. And shows a certain mindset that is intolerable. I expect more from professional military members.

Is it Friday yet? PLEASE!!!

Seriously? Why is this a Good Idea?

My local papers both had stories this weekend about earmarks - aka Pork Projects that congress members sneak into bills, usually unrelated to the bill itself.

I don't know why (well, yes I do) but both papers were touting the great things about all this Pork for our community.

Excuse me?!?!

I just shook my head because I know the Olympian is a total rag of useless tree wasting paper. But I still have a hard time believing that anyone can believe that earmarks are a good thing.

Let's see ... how logical is it for the federal government to take tax money from us and then return it to us...less a "minor" processing fee?

"...review of budget earmarks provided by the 2007 Congress — which funneled $1.38 billion in special budget awards to Washington state..."

Hello! Just keep that money here locally in the first place and let us do what needs to be done! The federal government doesn't know local needs and all that earmarks do is encourage waste and fraud. Not to mention lobbyists earning huge salaries - for what? Just for taking politicians out to lunch to persuade them to funnel tax payer money to their particular cause?

"One other earmark — for $446,500 — helps pay for a gym and culture center for Nisqually tribal youth. ... Yet another gives Intercity Transit $343,000 to design a bus station — for lease to Greyhound — next to IT's transfer station in downtown Olympia."

Seriously? SERIOUSLY!?! Do you really want to help pay for the Nisqually tribal youth's gym? Really? Do you even know where the Nisqually tribe is? I live very near it and trust me when I tell you that they do NOT need the federal dollars. Their casino is going gangbusters and they can afford to build their own freaking gym.

Not to mention the fact that no one living in Kansas should be taxed to pay for these things here in Washington State. The people of Washington should be the ones to decide what their taxes should be used for here. Let the people of Kansas use their tax money for themselves! (I just picked Kansas at random...feel free to insert your own state!)

The ONLY thing the federal government SHOULD be taxing and spending on is the military and national infrastructure like highways/freeways. That's it. Everything else should be left to local and state government. Oh and national parks. Those are good too.

Our government is so freaking inefficient it blows my mind and yet our local papers say its a good thing to have earmarks? Ridiculous!

Glad to Know My Breaks Work

Last night's drive home seemed normal and uneventful. Traffic was flowing well for once and I was headed toward my mom's work to pick up more coupons (I am now addicted to coupons). I had just hung up my cell phone after telling her I was only a few minutes away. Traffic had slowed down but was starting to pick up again. I was traveling 60 mph in a 60 mph zone on I-5.

An SUV behind me had been tail gating me severely - I could not even see their headlights. But I hadn't slowed down and was using my cruise control. I did not tap my breaks at all.

The driver swerved to the right, nearly rear ended a car in the right lane (I was in the middle lane) and jerked his SUV in front of me, nearly side swiping my front end. I honked...because...duh. He nearly caused a 3 car accident.

At which point the psycho SLAMMED on his breaks.

In the space of 2 seconds I reacted - slamming on my breaks, gripping the steering wheel, getting tunnel vision - all I saw was the rear end of his car, him wagging his finger at me, as I felt my wheels skid and squeal. I didn't swerve - I had no idea where the other cars were.

If there had been a car behind me they would have rear ended me and I firmly believe it was only a miracle of God's hand and quick instincts that saved my life. If I had hit this Psycho I think that I may not be here today. I was going 60 mph when he slammed his breaks and would have hit him full speed. And his car was bigger - a Toyota Highlander - gold in color with an Oregon license plate that had a 5, an X, and an H in it. That's all I remember.

I called 911 and by the time the operator was on I was sobbing. I couldn't think. I could hardly see the road for all the tears in my eyes. Breathing was difficult as I tried to explain what happened. The excellent man on the phone told me to take deep breaths and understandingly said he knew this kind of thing was scary. I seriously think that I was on the verge of losing it.

Somehow I pulled my act together, got all the details to the operator and prayed that the police would be able to catch him - though realistically I know the odds were slim. There are only a few Troopers for the entire county at any one time.

When I called hubby, still sobbing, I immediately said "I'm okay" because I knew a sobbing wife is not what a hubby wants to hear while traveling. I told him what happened and his first comment was that he was glad I was okay but I shouldn't have honked.

LOL That is such a Trooper-ish thing to say. A normal person A) wouldn't have tail gated me so closely and then passed me on the right (also illegal) and nearly take out two cars; and B) wouldn't have slammed on their breaks no matter what I did!

As if this moron will teach me a lesson by causing a horrible accident!!! Who does that?!?! If I had hit him he would have been at fault (I confirmed this with hubby) and I would have sued his ass. I'm not normally in favor of suing but if I knew who this Arse-Hole was I'd be tempted to sue him for emotional distress. :(

As I continued on to my mom's work I was crying so hard I could hardly see the road. I could not calm down - my breathing was labored and short and I felt like I'd been shaken up and beat up. Then I felt a sharp pain in my side and noticed that my back was starting to hurt.

And do you know how exhausting it is to sob...by the time I got home my head was pounding and I was exhausted. I'm still tired today because I couldn't get to sleep. *sigh*

What is wrong with people?!?!?! That guy was clearly unbalanced. This is just one more negative of working so far away from home - the commute nearly kills me!

I Drive too Slow

Apparently I drive too slow. At least that is what the consensus appears to be at this time. Hubby gets annoyed when I drive and wants me to speed up - which is funny since he's a cop.

And when people get behind me, especially at a stop light, I can tell they're annoyed when I take a little longer to get up to speed than most.

But you know what?

I DON'T CARE!

This morning some yahoo was RIGHT on my butt. I could not see his headlights! I had just turned right onto a road and he turned from the other direction (he turned left) immediately after me and dang near hit me. Then he throws up his hands because I don't floor it and get up to 40 in 2 seconds.

Pardon me but I'd rather not waste my gas. He doesn't have to pay my bill does he?

I have been driving slower because gas is expensive and the slower you drive the more you save. I don't do jack rabbit starts and I take a little extra time to get up to speed - trying to keep the RPMs under 2 when I can (this doesn't work as well on the freeway ramps).

When there's no one behind me I might even drive 10-15 miles UNDER the speed limit. But I do get up to the speed limit when there is traffic on the road. People obviously aren't *that* concerned with the price of gas by the way they are driving.

The yahoo this morning finally passed me (and waved, which I thought was pretty funny) and sped off. I just thought, he must like paying for gas.

I get SO mad at hubby when he drives the truck and floors it. He says 'it's only gas' and I get even more annoyed. At $4.15 a gallon, and a truck that takes more than $100 to fill up, there is NO reason to drive aggressively.

Needless to say, I've been doing most of the driving lately. If only to conserve gas. When he drives our MPG dip down to 14.9 or 15 and when I do most of the driving they edge back up to 15.4+. I know it's pathetic but we got the truck for the dogs and need it to haul them and us around. Thankfully it's not a commuting truck. I drive my car, which gets at least 30 mpg and I try to use it for running errands too.

How are you working to save gas? Has your driving changed? Mine sure has!!!

INSANE!

Okay...government is out of control!



$1,000 or 6 months in jail for COOKING BACON DOGS!!! Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?

Oh dear Lord in heaven above. These nanny state do-gooders are out of control. Back off my bacon!

Drew Carey is fast becoming my hero.

Get a Grip People

Good grief. All together now...take a DEEEEEEEP breath. Exhale slowly.

Now repeat... "The world is not ending. The world is not ending." "I do not need to hoard rice. I do not need to hoard rice."

Feel better now? No? Take another breath and get a GRIP.

I'm not an eternal optimist who can't see hardships and reality. But neither am I a 'world is ending' pessimist. This world and everything in it is complex and truly beyond our full understanding. If science were the be all and end all for explaining everything we'd never be surprised by a snow storm in April again.

Worried about Global Warming? Relax. Buy some sunglasses. Remember that the scientists can't even predict your local weather. I highly doubt that the so called claims of a global disaster is truly eminent.

Worried about the coming ice age? Buy a sled. And relax. Time Magazine predicted an ice age back in 1974.

However widely the weather varies from place to place and time to time, when meteorologists take an average of temperatures around the globe they find that the atmosphere has been growing gradually cooler for the past three decades. The trend shows no indication of reversing. Climatological Cassandras are becoming increasingly apprehensive, for the weather aberrations they are studying may be the harbinger of another ice age. Telltale signs are everywhere —from the unexpected persistence and thickness of pack ice in the waters around Iceland to the southward migration of a warmth-loving creature like the armadillo from the Midwest. Since the 1940s the mean global temperature has dropped about 2.7° F.

This is hilarious to me! Why should we listen to scientists today? Follow the money - many of these alarmists are looking for government handouts for their research. No one is handing out money to prove that our global climate is complex and hard to predict. You get money for claiming a crisis. And blaming man is nothing new either...

Man, too, may be somewhat responsible for the cooling trend. The University of Wisconsin's Reid A. Bryson and other climatologists suggest that dust and other particles released into the atmosphere as a result of farming and fuel burning may be blocking more and more sunlight from reaching and heating the surface of the earth. Climatic Balance. Some scientists like Donald Oilman, chief of the National Weather Service's long-range- prediction group, think that the cooling trend may be only temporary.

While I do think that mankind can have a significant influence on the local environment through pollution I do not think that we have the kind of power we imagine to affect the ENTIRE planetary climate. Volcanoes do more damage than we puny humans.

These ridiculous rice hoarders are creating a self fulfilling prophesy. Buy up all the rice and create a shortage. But it's an artificial shortage. Are grocery prices going up? Yes. But the end of the world is not coming!!!

Now, I do think people should have enough food and supplies on hand to last at least one month in case of an actual emergency. Note the word ACTUAL. Like an earthquake, volcanic eruption, terrorist attack. You know. REAL emergencies. Not made up political ones.

So go into the weekend with a light heart. Enjoy the day. Look at all the beauty that surrounds you. Take joy in small things...a flower blooming. A child's laugh. A beautiful photo. Life isn't that bad.

Not the Solution

It scares me how many people think government is the solution to all our problems - whether the housing 'crisis', healthcare, or education. Government is the problem. Because government is made of people and people can be imperfect, stupid, dishonest, and downright evil.

Passport Scandal

"...court documents show a State Department employee provided personal information from passport applications for use in a credit-card fraud scheme..."

"...the fraud ring submitted credit-card applications using the names and "identifying information" of the persons listed on the passport applications, and that a postal service employee then would intercept the cards before they were delivered to the appropriate residences.

Passport application data includes details such as a person's date and place of birth, e-mail address, mailing address, Social Security number, former names and travel plans..."

Just wait until they have their hands on all our healthcare information. Scares the crap out of me! I was planning to apply for a renewed passport but now I'm not so sure. Sheesh.

She's My Hero

I have found a lot of wonderful people and blogs online in the last few years. One such lady (I use the term loosely) is Rachel Lucas. Her blog is funny, witty, and laced with bad language (though that has lessened in the last few weeks).

She is so down to earth and logical and hits things right on the nail (usually). I don't agree with her 100% but when she makes blog entries like THIS ONE I want to find her and hug her!


Would Marilyn Monroe be a star today? Or would she be too fat? Look at those thighs! But she is gorgeous. And so is the winner of Miss Surrey to the left. She's a size 16.

I watch America's Next Top Model religiously. I love the show. But next week's preview shows the "fat" girl in the group being told that they have no clothes for a size 10 girl. WTH? What kind of message does that send to vulnerable and impressionable girls who have body image issues already? Even adult women seem to get sucked in to this thinking that they should be rail thin like a pre-pubescent boy. Even boys are starting to think it's "attractive" to be super skinny with no muscle (disgusting is what I call it!).

I started a program nearly six weeks ago called Fit Yummy Mummy (yes, it's designed for women who have had kids but it's not exclusive). I haven't blogged about it at all because it's a hard thing for me to do. Making the decision to start the program was HARD. I mean HARD. I had to take a "before" photo and it was one of the most humiliating things ever. Hubby had to take it. And then I had to look at it and shudder.

I had let myself go. Not because I've gained weight - that does tend to happen as one ages. No. I've completely let myself, my whole self, just deteriorate. I had stopped exercising regularly months and months and months (okay over a year) ago. We ate pretty much whatever we felt like it. Pizza? Sure. One for each of us. Ice Cream? No problem. There's a container in the freezer. Actually there's a couple of containers. I could eat an entire box of mac and cheese by myself and still want more.

I was tired all the time. I *might* have had one or two fruits/veggies a week. Not a day. A WEEK. We'd buy them but they'd just sit there and go bad. Pasta was an every night event. Usually with sauce. With some bread. And a dessert. Or I'd swing by the Mexican restaurant.

I cried the night I signed up for FYM. Seriously. I cried! Making the commitment meant admitting that something was very wrong with my lifestyle. It meant accepting and letting go of everything that gave me comfort and safety - everything "normal" and stable.

Grocery shopping has become a very different adventure. No more frozen pizzas. No more ice cream. If we want ice cream so badly we will drive to get it but will not stock it in the house. No more white bread, white pasta, white flour. A veggie with every dinner and lunch. Get rid of the sugar. Avoid processed foods. Of course, I'm still working on it ... change this drastic does not happen overnight. Hubby isn't always as cooperative as I would like. But since I don't buy most of the stuff he used to eat he doesn't have many options at home.

So far I'm down around 10 pounds...the first six melted away very quickly. But it's not just about the weight lost. It's about how I feel about myself. I'm not aiming to be a size 2 like I was in high school (looking back now I looked sickly and anorexic). I do want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without having an asthma attack. And unload my car of groceries without breaking a sweat. It feels good to move through the workouts and find myself progressing.

But I'm not starving myself. In fact, the woman in charge of this program, Holly, will tell people to eat MORE because so many women think that the less they eat the better. That's just not sustainable or healthy.

It's not about meeting some "ideal" body type or looking like a stick figure (Paris Hilton no thank you). It's about being healthy and happy with my body. Even if that means being a size 10 - I'm okay with that. I was a size 14 when I started and if I never lose more than these 10 pounds at least I will be healthier. I'm eating better and exercising. That alone is an improvement. I have more energy (though I think I will always feel "tired" due to other factors) and my cravings for things have decreased dramatically.

I'm not perfect of course. I still love my diet soda but I've gone from drinking 4 caffeinated diet drinks a day to 1 1/2. I'm trying new things and discovered that I really like almonds (which I'd never eaten before) with raisins.

It's a struggle and it doesn't help when people think a Marilyn Monroe body is fat. Health and society's definition of "beauty" don't always coincide.

Do Spiders Have Souls?

Seeing a picture of a spider makes me shudder so you can imagine my horror when we find them in the house.

I've always been scared of spiders. I remember being at grandma's house in the basement and not even wanting to vacuum them up because I thought they'd crawl out and get me. They are revengeful little beasts you know! I can't even step on them if they're too big. The tiny ones are usually okay...but they have to be pretty tiny.

For some reason in the last few years Daddy long legs have stopped bothering me as much. If I see one in the corner I usually leave it alone. I hate mosquitoes more than the long legs so the spider wins in that instance.

But when one drops down in front of my face when I'm in the SHOWER - war is immediately declared. I about had a heart attack the other day. Not only did this stupid spider drop down once...it did it TWICE! Like it was dive bombing me. I like taking long showers but this was not one of those days. I rinsed my hair and got out fast. Because I knew he was coming to get me again!

I use that Lysol Mildew spray after every shower - not a lot because it's super chemically but just a squirt on the nozzle. Well, this spider got a bath in this stuff and it proves just how dangerous chemicals are because that spider could hardly move after I sprayed it. Just imagine - frantic naked woman having near panic attack and spraying spraying spraying while trying not to get too close to the demon spider.

It's definitely dead and it took me awhile to find the dang thing. I was worried that it had survived and was going to attack again. I'm pretty sure though that I saw a leg sticking out from behind an older bottle of shampoo. Of course I'm not going to touch it - that's hubby's job. So for now I have a dead spider (shall we call him murdered? It was self defense!) somewhere above my head behind an unused bottle of shampoo.

If it had been a Wolf Spider I may have woken hubby up and forced him to do the deed. We have them and they have been found in three different rooms so far. They are far scarier than daddy longlegs (I can't even post a photo because just looking at them gives me chills!). The ones we have found so far have been well into the two inch range and dark brown scary monsters. And yet hubby still refuses to kill them. He traps them and releases them outside where they just crawl right back in when we're not looking.

They are nearly as bad as the black jumping spiders who are pretty tiny but super aggressive. They aren't scared at all and will RUN at you if you're trying to shoo it away. And they're tough too - squishing them is no easy task. And hubby thinks that flushing them will do the trick - but I always check the toilet before sitting down because you never know if one is going to crawl back up to get revenge!!!

Foot In Mouth

I'm a pretty mouthy gal and sometimes say what's on my mind before really thinking about it...it's been that way since I was a little girl. Just ask my mom.

I don't MEAN to hurt anyone's feelings. Ever. It makes me sick to my stomach and makes me want to cry (which I hate doing) when things I write or say are taken in a different way than I meant.

*sigh*

I'm glad it's Friday. I need to stay home and away from people for a few days.

Yeah, What She Said!

Oh HELL YES!

My family had not one dang thing to do with slavery, so far as I can trace my family back at least three generations on one side and two generations on the other.

My maternal grandfather's side was hella poor and has at least two Indian women mixed in...not exactly "proper" during those times.

My maternal grandmother's side was also poor and emigrated (is that the right word?) from South Dakota before WWII, after the Depression. I've seen some amazing pictures from way back when.



On my father's side I know much less except that his grandparents weren't even from this country! They immigrated (that IS the right word) from the Ukraine ... probably before WWII but I don't know exactly when. These were my paternal grandmother's parents. I know nothing about my paternal grandfather so I suppose he could be related to some slave holder. But for Pete sake...as if that has anything to do with who I am!

So I say hell yes to Rachel Lucas' reaction to the slick car salesman known as Obama. She says it so much better than I can.

Grocery Store Hell

The last thing I want to do on a weeknight is stop by the grocery store on my way home from work. I'm tired and hungry and all I want to do is get home. I'm nearly home tonight when hubby calls and asks me to go to the store to get milk. *sigh*

Sure I could go to the little corner grocer near my house but they don't have organic milk and I really don't want to buy anything else. I know...total geek.

So I turn around and head back down the road to Safeway. I nearly get creamed by oncoming traffic when I take a left hand turn...because the moron in front of me thinks it's okay to go less than one mile an hour when turning. WTH!?!?! I honk because seriously there was traffic bearing down on me. There had been plenty of time for me to turn after them if they didn't drive like my deceased 80 year old great-grandmother.

Okay...deep breaths. I get a decent parking spot and head on in. They have soda on sale...buy two get three free!!! Yes we are eating better and I'm trying to avoid chemicals and processed foods. But I cannot give up my Diet soda! Diet Tropicana Twister and Diet Mt Dew are my current loves. Great deal! Soda has gotten so expensive lately.

I find a few other things that look interesting (organic popcorn!) and head to the checkout. One line looked fairly short so in I went. Mistake! Never choose the shortest line if all the other lines are long. There is inevitably something wrong.

I had nearly finished unloading my cart when the cashier said the lady in front of me had run out to her car for something. Oh boy. I said that it was okay, figuring she couldn't take *that* long. I was wrong.

Not only did she take forever to get back she didn't even apologize!!! I understand that things happen - but for the Love of Pete if you hold up a line for that long say you are sorry! And so this girl (she was a girl...young 20s) with two kids taught them a good lesson. It's okay to hold everyone else up because the world revolves around you.

Besides the fact that she was paying with a welfare check. :( It bugs me ... call me insensitive but I work damn hard and seeing some girl with two kids (and a nice purse with a cell phone and name brand shoes) paying for her kids' food with a WIC check hacks me off. Especially when she clearly thinks that she is entitled. I would be mortified to have to rely on the gov't for basic food for my children. And I certainly wouldn't try to call attention to it by holding the entire line up (twice! She also had gotten the wrong kind of milk and it didn't qualify for WIC).

So now I'm ticked and feeling slightly guilty for being mad at her just for being on WIC. But I also remember the one time I was on gov't assistance. I was 21 and I had been fired from a job and was panicked because I didn't want to move back home. Two weeks later I had a new job and stopped accepting the checks (I think I even returned one extra that they sent...and never would have missed because they're so freaking inefficient).

But at least I made it home in one piece...what is wrong with people? Do they just forget how to drive?!? I really wish I didn't have to commute.

This is such a rambling rant...but I do feel better. :) Don't hate me for being frustrated with WIC. I just hate handouts. I would be fighting my butt off to get off WIC if I were forced to be on it. Though I am not against helping those who truly cannot survive - i.e. handicapped like my little cousin who broke his neck at the age of 14...though I have a feeling that as soon as he graduates college he'll get a good job and get off the public dole. It's just how we're raised. :)